“But my silence is for me. Not for you. Not anything against you. It is just difficult to explain…”, he said.
“How?”, just a mere whisper.
“It is… is me questioning myself and it is me being too loud inside my head. It is me repelling the world and at the same time drawn towards it. It is me wondering and wandering.
I am reluctant towards many thing people instantly leap and grab on. It however does not mean I am fog struck. I have a clear prospect. I am analyzing the pros and cons, I am mediating, I am recovering and I am pondering whenever I am silent.
It is sometimes like a tug of war. In between many options and many chances many what ifs I am pulled, and pulled apart! So I shut my mouth and let it be. It is not that I shut my mouth in anguish, it is my kind of let it be.
Like the anchors hold the ship amidst water, my silence anchors me amidst whatever life throws at me. Pleasant and unpleasant both. My silence is my satisfaction and my restlessness both.I just want someone, not all but just one living soul to understand what my silence means. Better than the way I myself can explain. To understand when it is happiness and when it is sadness and be in complete harmony with my soul. Just like that. ”
P.S title credits belong to the song SMILE of Ronan Keating. It was one of fav songs when I listened to music 1.5 years ago and my most fav line was “You say it best, when you say nothing at all.”
“We cannot be logical completely all the time, or in fact emotional. Being the first, all the time may complicate things, hinder you from opportunities and may cease you from having a more clear, brighter and wider prospect. Being the former all the time may bring lots and lots of embarrassment and hurt because everyone does not deserve to have the raw version of you and your mind.”, grandpa appeared to be in deep thoughts. He spoke of emotions and I saw his face tighten more as though he was speaking out of grief.
He further added, “What is important is being a realistic person, forming a balance between logics and emotions. You must decide who deserves you and where you must invest your emotions, you must decide where logics fit and where nature intervenes… ”
“So there is no room for mistakes?”, the little boy asked.
“Mistakes is what you will learn all this from.”, said Grandpa smiling.
Mirror mirror on the wall,
I stand before you, bold and tall
I want to hear something new
Something people don’t see at all.
So speak not of my figure and face,
Tell me how beautiful is my soul.
Mirror Mirror on the wall…
“They all fake it. Fake it with their appearance but the aura and vibes you get in presence of a person are never wrong. Eyes are never wrong. I notice eyes as if I am reading the secrets of the soul. Eyes never lie.
I do not care the way people look if their is a hint of treachery in you, I maintain a significant distance. After all a person is known by the company he/she keeps.”
I believe it to be true. The biggest project you ever take up in your life is taking care of yourself! Making the right decisions and for once appreciating yourself for who you are! Neglecting oneself in the race of life is the bad we inflict upon ourselves sometimes unintentionally and when the consequences of it get severe, then only we realize our mistake.
So for today, be kind to yourself. Start treating yourself as something important to you.
My doctor often said:
“Without you there won’t be exams to give, tasks to accomplish and money to earn in your life. So the most important resource you have in hand is yourself. Make a good use of this resource and blessing!”
Keep smiling! 🙂
My first ever bouquet was a Get well soon one from my uncle and his family. I received it and was overwhelmed.
Little gesture of affection can leave stronger marks embossed for life time. Care and love is all what everyone is searching for.
P.S I have been inconsistent. The post required posting for five consecutive days. I will finish the count however.
IT was his happy place. Sitting in the terrace having coffee observing the fog filled environment and breathing in the fragrance of damp forest. It was like being alone in a totally different dimension for sometime till she woke up. She woke up to bring colors. She woke up and the fog had settled, the view got clearer for him to see. Sunshine blazed at 12 and before that both have finished the morning warm up and breakfast. The aroma of bacons along with peanut butter and toast delighted him and made him more hungry while she fixed a bowl of oats with nuts for herself.
This was another thing about her. She liked to stay healthy. She liked very much to stay alive. She was alive and for that reason, so was he. Alive at heart. Happy. Content.
In the lonesome morning hour he spent, given his being an early bird, he pondered. He thought about anything and everything and every now and then jotted down something on sticky notes that were placed on table next to his chair, so that he can use the lines/words/thoughts whenever he needed them. It was another of her ideas. She perfectly understood him and his profession. He was frustrated once at the wonderful line he thought and didn’t write so couldn’t remember. This however never happened after that because she made sticky notes and pen available in all the usual places he dwelt, including the shower which had gel pen so the ink won’t spread before she could keep them into his desk.
He was sitting in the morning as usual thinking all of this and a lot more. How she became the driving force of his life. Took over him, owned him and cared for him like no one ever did. He thought for a moment about a morning without her.
“If she’s gone…” , he wrote. Uncountable minutes past, the pen still in his hand, he as though lost until he recovered and continued;
“If she’s gone…. There wouldn’t exists any ‘me’.”
He heard the sound of something falling in the kitchen and he smiled. His morning had just begun!
“The ache never leaves.”, he said. Seemed like he was plunged into something long gone. Something that still dominated him, the particular scent of memory his only favorite as though.
“There are times when you get too busy with your life, you think your business might keep you from feeling what you feel. But at night , when you lay down, tired and exhausted the memory revives and takes up the whole of you. You drown. You sink. You find it hard to breathe. In this struggle the night ends and the cycle goes on…..”.
He took a brief pause then added, ” You never forget your first love, you see. Never! If you have sincerely and truly fallen in love there is no falling out of it. The second and the third and fourth love and so on is merely falling in love with the memory of the one you loved, or loving the reflection of her if you see it in someone!”
P.S this is my first post of the challenge which started here. She is doing a wonderful job 🙂
And I took the challenge without any invitation just because I liked it. It is like challenging myself and knowing how well I can do. I do not invite anyone everyone is free to take this challenge from my side 🙂 All you have to do is Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.
“I want to be so very me, so that you know, in me perfection doesn’t exists, that I am not flawless and I am too learning from life like you are, I make mistakes, numerous risks I take and things do not necessarily turn out my way!
So that when you commit ‘you are the best’ you really know who you are talking about and that the definition of best is actually what you see in me”, she said.
“I wonder at the number of promises I made to myself and then broke.”, she said.