“I do not like hope.”, she said.
“It is one of the reasons why most of us are sad. You see, we cling to the tiniest possibility, the 1% and connect all our expectations to that. The 1% however, becomes a success with luck. Not everyone gets to have that.”
She still remembered the time when they both were enough for each other. She took care of his battles and was always by his side while he knew that whenever he needed, his sister would always be having his back. That was how strong they had been and she strongly believed that though distance and people may have come in between she could ascend fearlessly forward because she knew that if she ever tripped her brother would be there for. Right on time. Right when she needed him the most.
She recalled how once in childhood her cousin broke her doll and he saved his allowance to get her a new one though he wanted to buy a transformer car. And how they fought over winning the race and he always cheated and she pretended to let him win in the board games because she loved to see him tease her over his victory. She was happy in his success, whether she lost or not. She succeeded when he did and that was enough.
Life took its toll over them and they grew up fighting and smiling, teasing and chasing, together until their paths differed. The course of life changed for her and his life took different turns and they parted on their ways moving towards the opportunities, fulfilling their dreams and chasing their aims. She never settled. She had her postings from city to city over the last twelve years. In the race of life she missed the good old times, when there were no responsibilities but more of innocence and carefree leisure.
They met only once at his reception however, she was in a hurry and was on board as soon as their vows ended. Work was important. But she did make sure to be present on the most important step of her brother’s life. He understood and was okay with it.
And here she sat now in the cafe, waiting to meet her brother after such a long span. He called her last night to inform her that he had come on vacations with his children to Alaska and wanted to meet her. He did not complain of anything. Just that as soon as he arrived in Alaska she became the priority and that was enough. She was playing the memories back and thinking when her shoulder was tapped by a light hand. She looked around to see a 4 year old girl standing beside her smiling, wearing a pink frock and pony tail. Her features were same as hers. What a remarkable resemblance! The little girl spoke, ” Hello Aunt Jane!” and leaped forward for a hug. She instantly responded and picked the child up in her lap. She looked around and there he was. Her little brother, 6 ft tall with a beard and in a nicely cut and stitched navy blue coat having a baby of roughly 8 months old in his hand while his wife approached her with a warm smile.
This reunion was perhaps one of the perfect moments in all those long years. The evening flied, she accompanied them to her humble residence later on.
My first ever bouquet was a Get well soon one from my uncle and his family. I received it and was overwhelmed.
Little gesture of affection can leave stronger marks embossed for life time. Care and love is all what everyone is searching for.
P.S I have been inconsistent. The post required posting for five consecutive days. I will finish the count however.
IT was his happy place. Sitting in the terrace having coffee observing the fog filled environment and breathing in the fragrance of damp forest. It was like being alone in a totally different dimension for sometime till she woke up. She woke up to bring colors. She woke up and the fog had settled, the view got clearer for him to see. Sunshine blazed at 12 and before that both have finished the morning warm up and breakfast. The aroma of bacons along with peanut butter and toast delighted him and made him more hungry while she fixed a bowl of oats with nuts for herself.
This was another thing about her. She liked to stay healthy. She liked very much to stay alive. She was alive and for that reason, so was he. Alive at heart. Happy. Content.
In the lonesome morning hour he spent, given his being an early bird, he pondered. He thought about anything and everything and every now and then jotted down something on sticky notes that were placed on table next to his chair, so that he can use the lines/words/thoughts whenever he needed them. It was another of her ideas. She perfectly understood him and his profession. He was frustrated once at the wonderful line he thought and didn’t write so couldn’t remember. This however never happened after that because she made sticky notes and pen available in all the usual places he dwelt, including the shower which had gel pen so the ink won’t spread before she could keep them into his desk.
He was sitting in the morning as usual thinking all of this and a lot more. How she became the driving force of his life. Took over him, owned him and cared for him like no one ever did. He thought for a moment about a morning without her.
“If she’s gone…” , he wrote. Uncountable minutes past, the pen still in his hand, he as though lost until he recovered and continued;
“If she’s gone…. There wouldn’t exists any ‘me’.”
He heard the sound of something falling in the kitchen and he smiled. His morning had just begun!
“The ache never leaves.”, he said. Seemed like he was plunged into something long gone. Something that still dominated him, the particular scent of memory his only favorite as though.
“There are times when you get too busy with your life, you think your business might keep you from feeling what you feel. But at night , when you lay down, tired and exhausted the memory revives and takes up the whole of you. You drown. You sink. You find it hard to breathe. In this struggle the night ends and the cycle goes on…..”.
He took a brief pause then added, ” You never forget your first love, you see. Never! If you have sincerely and truly fallen in love there is no falling out of it. The second and the third and fourth love and so on is merely falling in love with the memory of the one you loved, or loving the reflection of her if you see it in someone!”
P.S this is my first post of the challenge which started here. She is doing a wonderful job 🙂
And I took the challenge without any invitation just because I liked it. It is like challenging myself and knowing how well I can do. I do not invite anyone everyone is free to take this challenge from my side 🙂 All you have to do is Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.
“I want to be so very me, so that you know, in me perfection doesn’t exists, that I am not flawless and I am too learning from life like you are, I make mistakes, numerous risks I take and things do not necessarily turn out my way!
So that when you commit ‘you are the best’ you really know who you are talking about and that the definition of best is actually what you see in me”, she said.
“It is a chaos in this world.”
“People.. it is them creating the havoc. You see, they care more about a fallen phone than a fallen person. They stomp on feelings of others without knowing they did yet they like a thousand posts on how much extra they ‘feel’ everything. They complain of their solitude but never actually say hello to the person sitting next to them, they avoid actually socializing yet have every social networking account possible. They post I love you Mom but hate her when she calls them at the dinner table to sit and eat with her.
You see, now there are less feelings, less humanity, less good deeds. When there are less good deeds right and wrong become indistinguishable! It is the ultimate end. It is chaos.”
“I believe in relations that are beyond materialistic desires.”, she bit her lip then carried on. “Yeah… I believe in that. The holiness of a true relationship has more to it than the riches, material, money, looks of the person.
It is who they are in being, it is what they say, what they worship, what they practice, the way they care, they way they’re honest, they way they speak, they way they are silent and it never bothers because their silence has meaning and surprisingly we begin to understand those meanings! It is these and a lot more things that make you drawn to a person and to love them. It is then a true love, a true bonding, a real relationship. Respecting each other for who you are and understanding every simple and complex entangled bits of each other!”
“She took a deep breath. She never knew nervousness the way it felt that day, rush of million feelings and then nothing… the escalator of emotion driven too fast up and down and it was beyond her control.
But that was it. She told herself.
That moment was her’s and she was ready to capture it… she was ready to live it!
One last glance at the mirror and she strode gracefully through the hall, holding a bouquet of wild flowers in one hand and the side of her white satin gown in the other. The pearls she wore added a touch of exquisiteness in her appearance and her eyes twinkled like the brightest stars, their shine against which was no match, the shine of 22 carat diamond ring!! Her steps were slow, very measured as if she was walking on air and her long veil and gown tail rustled as she walked and there wasn’t a single sound! Hundreds of eyes marveled at her beauty and hundreds of heart went out to her that night!”
“In life’s buzz I went through places and met people, I got indulged in chasing luxuries for my life… sometimes it became obsession, so much that I consoled my endless desires with Mercedes cars, puffy branded robes and diamonds and gold that I generously showered on acquaintances … I forgot the real joys in this race. I forgot how enchanting it is to enjoy a cup of coffee on cold mornings or how soothing it is to embrace your beloved… I forgot the simple joys and lost myself… And here I am today twenty years later, standing far far away from life’s ‘liveliness’. The heart warming joys and memories to cherish? there aren’t any. I have everything and yet I have nothing at all!”, he lit another cigarette when he finished his sentence. It was like burning the cigarette and turning it into ash would sooth the agony that burnt inside him.
The audience was awe struck. No one has seen this blunt side of him and it was the very first time he wasn’t superficial. He wasn’t plastic, someone glamorous basking in attention of millions for his heart throbbing personality… He was less Hollywood today… He was himself!